My Mum & Me

 

My mother is a truly wonderful woman. She has been suffering so badly with arthritus and worn joints and the associated disability and pain that this brings. But through all this, she remains my rock.

As a young child, I was a daddy's girl.  I was a tomboy and much younger than my 'next' sibling, so naturally spent lots more time with my parents.  Sadly, my father died nine years ago.  I miss him every day.

During my twenties, my relationship with my mother evolved to one of respect, enormous love and true friendship.  My father's illness was not kind.  My mother nursed him so devotedly and we spent hours together sharing the strain, enjoying some sweet moments when they came and getting each other through.

My daughter Ruby was born the year after my father died and her and 'Granny' have a wonderful bond.  We found out I was pregnant with her on the Christmas Eve following his death.  The joy her birth brought gave us new energy to carry on fully living life.

When I had my accident, mum came and stayed with us for two months.  Her love and care of me and my family got us through a time of wonder - with a newborn, and immense pain, turmoil and life changing immobility.  She became motherly to not just me but to my children and at times, my husband.  I was 38 weeks pregnant when I had my accident, and Billy was born by C Section a week later.  Due to the pregnancy I wasn't xrayed and the real extent of my injuries weren't identified resulting in this delay...

God's plan is remarkable.  New life can bring such joy amidst tragedy.  I remained in hospital for a further week whilst Billy was discharged.  I had never left Ruby overnight before and now was separated from her and my newborn baby.  I knew that my mum and Ben were the 'other' best people to be looking after my precious littlies.  The children I was told I probably wouldn't have.  They kept them happy, hid the darkness from their eyes and kept love and fun a priority.

My mother and Ben supported me through the most difficult time of my life.  Through their strength and love I returned home to my family.  I spent almost 12 months in my house then.  Juggling a newborn, 2 year old, unable to walk and still in uncompromising agony.  It was hard.  I don't know how we got through it.  But I do know my mother was a key part in getting me through. 

At this moment, my mother is having a new knee joint put in.  In her case it's a more complicated operation due to a number of factors I won't go into here.  We trust in the surgeon, in god's plan and in our collective will to keep her going.

Mum, I love you beyond measure.  You have helped me through a time that felt so bleak and dark.  You love my children unconditionally, as you do me and I do you.  I am so grateful for everything you sacrificed for me growing up and am thankful for you being such a wonderful part of my life every day.  I am thankful for the perspective that being a mother now brings to my childhood.  I am thankful for the support, love and friendship that you bring to my life as an adult.

My heart is with you on this new journey.  I will support you as you did me.  I will send love, warmth and positivity across the miles and visit you often.

Be strong.  Fight to walk again.  Keep the negative thoughts at bay and recognise the small steps of recovery.  Speak up when you are sad.

Above all, know that we love you beyond measure and say when you need us - I'll be there for you Mum.

Always and Forever.

J xx