I am / I try to be / I am not

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and cyber hugs over the past month.  It has genuinely been helping knowing that some wonderful people in the world I've not physically met would take the time to show they care.

I don't have a lot to post about at present as the lack of camera is frustrating - soon to be resolved though.  I've seen both Jennifer from thistlebear and and Leanne from Today's Stuff do this and I enjoyed learning a little more about them individually in this way so I thought I'd join in.


I am

• a chronic chocoholic.  It is my 'go to' for all emotional traumas or celebrations.  I can always make up a reason!  Maltesers are my favourite (although it is not the lighter way to enjoy chocolate as there are LOTS of calories in them).  Or Dairy Milk.  Yum.  I will never be a size 10 again and I'm OK with that.
• a bit naive.  I'm in my mid thirties now and life is showing me that sadly the real world is a darker place than the little world of my childhood.  I aspire to shelter my own children from very many horrors in the world yet give them age appropriate awareness so that they are not vulnerable in later life.
• a hoarder.  It's true I have hoarding tendencies.  I can see a future project or a use in most things and have to manage my actions to prevent stuff entering my home - it's the reason I've gone cold turkey on charity shops.  Don't get me wrong I don't live in a house stacked high with rubbish but there is what many people would call clutter!
• concerned about Ebola.  I think this is a worldwide issue which fills me with worry.
• cooking a roast chicken with all the trimmings for tea tonight and an apple and blackberry crumble with custard for afters.  Yummy.

I try to be

• a patient, attentive, consistent and calm mother.  I don't want to rule as an autocrat or through fear but aim for my children to feel they can talk to me about anything.  
• a good wife and friend.  I am blessed with having some wonderful people in my life which is something I'm eternally grateful for.  
• a good listener.  I'm naturally an introvert and have quite a quiet personality.  I have a few close friends with great personality traits and I think if you asked them mine they would say that I'm a good listener.
• kind to myself.  Since my accident I tend to overcompensate for many of the things that I can no longer do and when I can't achieve what I aim for it leads to feelings of guilt which can be overwhelming.  I'm learning to be kinder to myself.
• organised.  I'm not a naturally organised person.  My lovely mother's idea of filing was to simply put things in a drawer.  Which drawer and where was never important until we needed to find something and it would lead to a frantic search and stress.  I'm trying to minimise all sources of stress I can influence and so gradually my home - room by room is being organised and everything is finding its home.  It's working!
• creative with our weekend times.  Time together as a family is so precious and I'm conscious that we make the most of this time.  In so doing I've perhaps over planned trips or family visits and we need some creative time at home to relax together and do the much loved simple things.  I'll try harder and keep evaluating that this is right for us.

I am not

• on top of the laundry.  Rainfall has been so heavy and so consistent this past week the laundry basket is full.  I'm waiting for dry weather to help dry it before it becomes a mountain.  We don't have a tumble dryer but I'm even beginning to consider putting the heating on to dry some on the radiators.  I'm trying not to as I can manage without the heating on at the moment and quite frankly the cost of energy is an issue!
• currently 'on plan'.  I've been a member of Slimming World since February and have very slowly lost 10lbs.  It's taking forever because I can't exercise much at present due to my health and when I feel in pain my resolve weakens!   I think I may have eaten that weight in ginger nut biscuits over the last few days!!!
• naturally tidy.  Chaos makes me stressed though - even when it's not on view but I'm trying hard to work on this trait.  I'm teaching myself but it's a process!
• a girly girl.  I was a National Park & Wildlife Trust Ranger post graduation and pre kids and have always lived in trousers etc with minimal makeup.  I had a part time job once in Monsoon and had to wear colourful dresses and was so uncomfortable!!  Over the last few years I've started wearing dresses during the summer as I've overcome my self consciousness and even wear a little foundation and mascara!!  But that's about it - ooh, I love a good pedicure though.
• enjoying being alone at home without my little dog Milo.  He's currently at the vets having his teeth cleaned!!  It feels very quiet here without my little shadow.  

This was quite fun to write so thank you for the inspiration.  Take care until next time,

J9 x