I logged on just after tea tonight and have spent the last couple hours reading a few blog posts, checking my ridiculously overfilled email and generally reintroducing myself to the way of the laptop having been absent from it for the summer.
In the main part, it has been enormously pleasant to see gorgeous posts depicting the continuing passing of seasons, beautiful photography or stunning creations... but if I'm honest, for the first time in a long time, whilst sharing in these moments through Blogland - I felt completely inadequate. Like reconnecting with the wider world and their accomplishments diminished mine and highlighted my lack of achievement. I am in no way seeking to ridicule any post whatsoever, more highlight the mindset that I fell into whilst reading them (a reflection on myself - alone).
In short, my soul accomplishment in September thus far has been one of existence; of going through the motions, trying to find comfort in routine and battling real ill health. My children are well fed, watered, clean and cared for - main job done, but I have failed to complete much else (and I do not exaggerate).
The summer holidays passed in a happy blur - genuinely. My pain increased each day but we were content. Pushing through to achieve these happy times and moments to remember is so worthwhile but for me physically, there is always a price to pay. The Hubby is still recovering from his Achilles rupture (and still in that big boot) but is beginning to weight bare. This has meant we didn't get a break away this year, nor a defined period of relaxation and I think as the new month rang in and August ebbed away, my own strength began to disappear even more than over a normal summer period. No worries, I thought - the children started back to school on the 2nd then I can recuperate.
Too little too late I fear as a serious rheumatoid flare took hold. I have been on high dose steroids for the treatment of the flare now for 10 days (which I had tried unsuccessfully to manage through pacing alone for the 2 previous weeks) and I am slowly recovering. Only once, when I was first diagnosed around 4 years ago have I suffered to this degree. It has crippled my body and weakened my resolve... I have really struggled and it has called me to evaluate so many facets of life and existence.
Thank goodness for Mothers. My mum arrived 8 days ago and took on 'the home' and 'school runs'. For the next 6 days I was bedridden - in complete agony, until the steroids properly commenced their work. I am slowly recovering and allowing myself to rest completely. My mum left again today and I will manage the morning school run if nothing else... I will tick that box.
When so much of my current identity is linked with my role as mum - how awful does it feel when I can't fulfill those needs? Hideous. The rational brain says "Anyone can get ill" and of course, I know this to be true. But living it with time to think and pain that saps any strength you can muster is a real challenge. But I am on the road to recovery from this flare. It has also meant referrals to more consultants which I have avoided for a few years so maybe this will be a timely review.
It wasn't my intention to write this post, it was simply going to be a "summer catch up to follow" kind of post, but it has flowed from my fingers. I guess it is cathartic and I'm just gonna press publish and go with it warts and all. There are no ta dahs to share, no exciting projects to tell you about or even pictures to go with these words.
If there is a reader out there who is questioning their purpose or is jaded by their aspiration for constant perfection. Know that you are not alone and that sometimes real life is hard. And trust in the timeless reassurance that whatever you may be going through, however you are tested.
This too shall pass.
J9 x
Finding Happiness in the Everyday
Showing posts with label Managing Family as a Disabled Mum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Managing Family as a Disabled Mum. Show all posts
Tuesday, 23 September 2014
Tuesday, 24 September 2013
Extention Catch Up - 3 weeks in!
As I mentioned in my last blog post, we are now 3 weeks in to our 'big build'. So far it hasn't caused us too much inconvenience. The main change is that we have to use our back door as the front porch was knocked down the first day the builders started and the inner door was boarded up preventing access. So far though, no internal work has started.
Our house is a sixties build and can in no way be described as a pretty house from the outside. In fact, it's quite fair to say it is ugly. So here is a before - I was looking forward to seeing the end of that ugly porch!
It was the inside space that sold the property to us (and the price being what we could afford!) I think once it's finished it will have slightly more curb appeal but it still won't be pretty from the outside. We would need a much larger (unobtainable) budget for that!
The main build progress so far is in the development of the extension structure. The builder aimed to build the outer walls, roof etc. and make it watertight before progressing on to knocking down the old outer wall which houses the current (very cramped) kitchen. This means that the extension has been built in isolation around our current house! It has made the kitchen space very dark but it has meant we've not been inconvenienced too much in the early stages of the build. If you look closely you can just make me out doing the dishes at our current kitchen sink!
Lots of excitement ensued when a digger arrived to dig the footings. I didn't get a good picture of the process as I needed to let them 'get on' but once dug you could see the size of the new space...
Further excitement happened early one morning before school as the cement mixer arrived and filled in the enormous footings. We all found this fascinating and watched closely from Little Man's bedroom window. All the cement was firmly in place before we left for school at half 8 in the morning. Not bad going eh?!
Once this base was dry, the walls went up super quick!
The brick layer came over 2 weekends and the external walls were complete.
The final picture is how it looks at present - the roof is nearly (but not quite) complete. The windows are being fitted later this week and then building work will start in our current kitchen - of which half will become a downstairs shower / toilet room.
The mess is beginning to wear on me - as is the knowledge that things are about to get a whole lot worse in the near future. I keep telling myself it will be so worth it (I know it will) but it doesn't make it any easier during the difficult times when mud is walked throughout the house!
I have set up a reasonable 'make shift' kitchen in our conservatory and we will be emptying the remainder of the kitchen cupboards this weekend. I'm aiming to sell our old kitchen units and our appliances have found a good home so we're doing our bit for the environment! Once the inner wall comes down I will have no cooker and no kitchen sink for 2-3 weeks. I do have a camp stove and I have prepared a bit by cooking up batches of Bolognese and different sauces and frozen them so I don't feel guilty about not providing nutritious food for the kids. If we can stretch to it, we will pay for school dinners two or three times a week over the peak build time so that it takes a bit more pressure off. I'm also planning on using paper plates for a while as doing dishes in the upstairs bathroom would be physically challenging for me!
Brick dust do your worst... I am ready for you with gritted teeth and a forced smile. The new space will be my saviour and will help with managing my disability. I'm ready. Bring it on!
I'll update when I've got more photographs of progress and when the internal walls come down. Think positive thoughts for me!
Thanks for reading,
J9 x
Our house is a sixties build and can in no way be described as a pretty house from the outside. In fact, it's quite fair to say it is ugly. So here is a before - I was looking forward to seeing the end of that ugly porch!
The main build progress so far is in the development of the extension structure. The builder aimed to build the outer walls, roof etc. and make it watertight before progressing on to knocking down the old outer wall which houses the current (very cramped) kitchen. This means that the extension has been built in isolation around our current house! It has made the kitchen space very dark but it has meant we've not been inconvenienced too much in the early stages of the build. If you look closely you can just make me out doing the dishes at our current kitchen sink!
Lots of excitement ensued when a digger arrived to dig the footings. I didn't get a good picture of the process as I needed to let them 'get on' but once dug you could see the size of the new space...
Once this base was dry, the walls went up super quick!
The brick layer came over 2 weekends and the external walls were complete.
The final picture is how it looks at present - the roof is nearly (but not quite) complete. The windows are being fitted later this week and then building work will start in our current kitchen - of which half will become a downstairs shower / toilet room.
The mess is beginning to wear on me - as is the knowledge that things are about to get a whole lot worse in the near future. I keep telling myself it will be so worth it (I know it will) but it doesn't make it any easier during the difficult times when mud is walked throughout the house!
I have set up a reasonable 'make shift' kitchen in our conservatory and we will be emptying the remainder of the kitchen cupboards this weekend. I'm aiming to sell our old kitchen units and our appliances have found a good home so we're doing our bit for the environment! Once the inner wall comes down I will have no cooker and no kitchen sink for 2-3 weeks. I do have a camp stove and I have prepared a bit by cooking up batches of Bolognese and different sauces and frozen them so I don't feel guilty about not providing nutritious food for the kids. If we can stretch to it, we will pay for school dinners two or three times a week over the peak build time so that it takes a bit more pressure off. I'm also planning on using paper plates for a while as doing dishes in the upstairs bathroom would be physically challenging for me!
Brick dust do your worst... I am ready for you with gritted teeth and a forced smile. The new space will be my saviour and will help with managing my disability. I'm ready. Bring it on!
I'll update when I've got more photographs of progress and when the internal walls come down. Think positive thoughts for me!
Thanks for reading,
J9 x
Tuesday, 10 September 2013
Jurassic Discoveries at Kilve!
Bank holiday Monday saw us heading along the coast to Kilve for the first time. I needed to hear and see the sea... I had a real yearning for that noise that sooths my soul.
We arrived at high tide as planned - promptly starting to search for fossils amongst the rocks and pebbles. Pit stops for refuelling were of course essential!
We were surprisingly successful. I've been to Lyme Regis before and not found anything so I'd fully prepped the kids that we may not find any fossilised life - and certainly not any dinosaurs!!
While the tide was high little man broke rocks for a full hour!! He knelt, selected a rock that simply 'could not be broken' and smashed away. Little lady built towers of rock but was much happier once more of the beach became exposed and there was water to play with!
As the tide went out the expanse of 'rock tables' like huge walkways became visible across the shoreline.
It was fascinating to see the folds of rock and the layers of minerals laid historically with huge boulders deposited sporadically by the power of ice and sea. As the slate layers break away with the impact of the sea, the pebbles enclosed within are released with their fossilised remains.
...and generally frolicked in a bit of water and fine sand as only children can.
Some fossils were too large to bring home:
...and we chose a favourite to display as a reminder of our day.
It wasn't as accessible as many beaches we visit and I certainly felt the impact of that later in the day pain wise but the effort was worth it. Little man is a dinosaur fanatic and was super interested. In our research when we came home we found out that a new species of dinosaur is discovered each week by Palaeontologists for the last 18 months- that's mind blowing - that the rate of discovery is still so high.
The Natural History Museum is a destination we need to visit - I'm planning for October half term if we can arrange it. Although the entry is free to the museum the expense comes in the travel to and stay in London. I really want to make it happen though. I know I'll get so much pleasure just from watching little man's face and they'll learn sooo much in so many ways.
Kilve was a different experience for us. Thoroughly enjoyable with lots of learning coming out of our finds!
Thanks for reading,
J9 x
We arrived at high tide as planned - promptly starting to search for fossils amongst the rocks and pebbles. Pit stops for refuelling were of course essential!
We were surprisingly successful. I've been to Lyme Regis before and not found anything so I'd fully prepped the kids that we may not find any fossilised life - and certainly not any dinosaurs!!
While the tide was high little man broke rocks for a full hour!! He knelt, selected a rock that simply 'could not be broken' and smashed away. Little lady built towers of rock but was much happier once more of the beach became exposed and there was water to play with!
A bridge was an engineering challenge to accomplish...
It was fascinating to see the folds of rock and the layers of minerals laid historically with huge boulders deposited sporadically by the power of ice and sea. As the slate layers break away with the impact of the sea, the pebbles enclosed within are released with their fossilised remains.
The kids played in foot pools, built walls with gloop cement...
...and generally frolicked in a bit of water and fine sand as only children can.
Some fossils were too large to bring home:
...and we chose a favourite to display as a reminder of our day.
It wasn't as accessible as many beaches we visit and I certainly felt the impact of that later in the day pain wise but the effort was worth it. Little man is a dinosaur fanatic and was super interested. In our research when we came home we found out that a new species of dinosaur is discovered each week by Palaeontologists for the last 18 months- that's mind blowing - that the rate of discovery is still so high.
The Natural History Museum is a destination we need to visit - I'm planning for October half term if we can arrange it. Although the entry is free to the museum the expense comes in the travel to and stay in London. I really want to make it happen though. I know I'll get so much pleasure just from watching little man's face and they'll learn sooo much in so many ways.
Kilve was a different experience for us. Thoroughly enjoyable with lots of learning coming out of our finds!
Thanks for reading,
J9 x
Today I'm partying with:
Today I'm joining in with these lovely blog parties!
Friday, 1 February 2013
Weekend Wanderings
This is among my favourite images of 2013 so far:
It captures such freedom, 'boyness' and joy. It may be just because I'm his mum but I genuinely think it's the best things in life captured in one special moment; nature's beauty, a crisp, clear winter's day, family enjoying special time together and the sense of freedom. Simple things...
These photos were taken at Cheddar Reservoir (Somerset) and the one above looking out over the Somerset Levels and over the Mendips. We decided to make the most of the clear days and get 'out'.
We'd been told that there was a 'good' path around the reservoir so decided to give it a go. The kids raced ahead and covered twice the ground that we did (I love how they do that!)
They scooted some of the way, ran bits of it and just enjoyed the rest. The love of my life pushed me round the reservoir in the wheelchair that I have come to accept. We will be buying a scooter later this year after my last one broke - I can't wait! The path was great half way round the 2 & half mile route - then it changed to a less accessible material - you can see there was more mud and it became a harder push for Ben and more uncomfortable ride for me! Access to the countryside is a real problem for people with mobility issues in Britain, but we persevered and made it around the full circuit as a family.
It was lovely to get out and watch the children jump and run - the light on the water was amazing...
And there were a few ducks for us to feed our bag of bread to:
The more observant reader amongst you will notice that R had a trouser change between photos. She was a little to keen to feed the ducks and got rather wet!! We've always packed spare clothes for the kids, no stress when accidents happen...
The other outing was very exciting!! Our first trip ice skating as a family! Well, I had to watch and take photos (which I actually found really hard as pre accident I LoVED skating!) It's the first activity in a while that I felt sad I couldn't join in with. Most things we can work around my disability and find alternative ways of us all being active together - but not this time. I don't write this for sympathy - it's just part of this journey we're on. I think it's interesting the things that sometime affect me. Losing the freedom of use and strength in my legs has actually meant that in many ways my life is richer than before. And it's constantly evolving... Over time I learnt that we can choose our reaction to things. Sometimes that takes all the mental strength and faith you can muster. So yes, I missed skating, but I am more thankful for being alive to watch my family skate.
I LoVED watching the kiddies. Ben had never skated before either so it was their first time on the ice together - blessed.
Real joyful flow - so good for the soul.
R designed a wheelchair with blades on when we got home - think I may patent the idea ;0) I imagine there must be some kind of ice friendly mobility equipment in the world?
Happy days for our little family spending time together outdoors.
Thanks for reading!
J9 x
It captures such freedom, 'boyness' and joy. It may be just because I'm his mum but I genuinely think it's the best things in life captured in one special moment; nature's beauty, a crisp, clear winter's day, family enjoying special time together and the sense of freedom. Simple things...
We'd been told that there was a 'good' path around the reservoir so decided to give it a go. The kids raced ahead and covered twice the ground that we did (I love how they do that!)
They scooted some of the way, ran bits of it and just enjoyed the rest. The love of my life pushed me round the reservoir in the wheelchair that I have come to accept. We will be buying a scooter later this year after my last one broke - I can't wait! The path was great half way round the 2 & half mile route - then it changed to a less accessible material - you can see there was more mud and it became a harder push for Ben and more uncomfortable ride for me! Access to the countryside is a real problem for people with mobility issues in Britain, but we persevered and made it around the full circuit as a family.
It was lovely to get out and watch the children jump and run - the light on the water was amazing...
And there were a few ducks for us to feed our bag of bread to:
The more observant reader amongst you will notice that R had a trouser change between photos. She was a little to keen to feed the ducks and got rather wet!! We've always packed spare clothes for the kids, no stress when accidents happen...
The other outing was very exciting!! Our first trip ice skating as a family! Well, I had to watch and take photos (which I actually found really hard as pre accident I LoVED skating!) It's the first activity in a while that I felt sad I couldn't join in with. Most things we can work around my disability and find alternative ways of us all being active together - but not this time. I don't write this for sympathy - it's just part of this journey we're on. I think it's interesting the things that sometime affect me. Losing the freedom of use and strength in my legs has actually meant that in many ways my life is richer than before. And it's constantly evolving... Over time I learnt that we can choose our reaction to things. Sometimes that takes all the mental strength and faith you can muster. So yes, I missed skating, but I am more thankful for being alive to watch my family skate.
I LoVED watching the kiddies. Ben had never skated before either so it was their first time on the ice together - blessed.
Real joyful flow - so good for the soul.
R designed a wheelchair with blades on when we got home - think I may patent the idea ;0) I imagine there must be some kind of ice friendly mobility equipment in the world?
Happy days for our little family spending time together outdoors.
Thanks for reading!
J9 x
Today I'm joining the party with:
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
Blowing the Cobwebs Away!
The New Year brought the first dry day in North Somerset for what seems like an Age!! We seized the moment and ventured out to Brean Down. It was such a welcome break from a period of time indoors. Whilst I am a homebird and we had some treasured memory making family time over the Christmas period - a dry day outdoors was just what the doctor ordered.
We let Milo off the lead and he ran and ran.
And we launched the kites for the first time in a few months.
There is something so joyful about flying a kite. It seemed to dance in the wind and the looks of delight on the kiddies faces were wonderful to see.
I felt really alive when we returned home. Invigorated even. The fresh air and burst of sunshine blew new life and energy into my soul - and, I sensed into us all.
I look forward to more of these days in 2013 with grey clouds clearing and the sun shining through.
We let Milo off the lead and he ran and ran.
Sometimes he had company of the kiddie kind, sometimes he ran after a ball and sometimes he ran to make new friends...
Needless to say he needed a shower when he got home and promptly slept til tea time!
Billy tested out his new bat and ball set his cousins gave him for Christmas.
And we launched the kites for the first time in a few months.
There is something so joyful about flying a kite. It seemed to dance in the wind and the looks of delight on the kiddies faces were wonderful to see.
I felt really alive when we returned home. Invigorated even. The fresh air and burst of sunshine blew new life and energy into my soul - and, I sensed into us all.
I don't mind the wet days - as long as we have the intermittent dry, bright and beautiful days to blow those cobwebs away. To clear our minds and help refocus on the natural world around us. To laugh and sit while my family runs, climbs, plays - and as Mary Poppins would say;
' To go fly a kite and send it soaring!'
I look forward to more of these days in 2013 with grey clouds clearing and the sun shining through.
Thank you for reading and I wish you health and happiness this year,
J9 x
Today I'm linking up with these fantastic parties!
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Creativity of the Kiddie Kind
This was a weekend where we hunkered down in our home. The winds blew madly up on our hill and the rain fell (hard) and there was little inclination to go out and get the usual 'breath of fresh air'!!
With weekends at home comes the littlies yearning for a creative outlet. I love that they love to create. It doesn't really matter what we do. We're just sat around the table, chattering and creating.
Mess gets made.
Piles of art finished, drying pieces of art are left overnight before being completed the next day.
We made Hamma bead Christmas decorations -
And R and I made teacup candles for the first time (what a revelation as to how easy they are - these need topping up and trimming but you get the idea!!)
Lots of colouring
R did a little bit of independent sewing - her idea to develop
And some ink marbling
What could be better?
Well maybe add in some of this....
And this.....
It's amazing what you can pack into a weekend at home. It was all at a leisurely pace too and the TV only went on on Sunday, which the kids finished with a family film like this.... oh they love a den.
Heaven.
J9 x
With weekends at home comes the littlies yearning for a creative outlet. I love that they love to create. It doesn't really matter what we do. We're just sat around the table, chattering and creating.
Mess gets made.
Piles of art finished, drying pieces of art are left overnight before being completed the next day.
 |
And R and I made teacup candles for the first time (what a revelation as to how easy they are - these need topping up and trimming but you get the idea!!)
Lots of colouring
R did a little bit of independent sewing - her idea to develop
And some ink marbling
What could be better?
Well maybe add in some of this....
And this.....
It's amazing what you can pack into a weekend at home. It was all at a leisurely pace too and the TV only went on on Sunday, which the kids finished with a family film like this.... oh they love a den.
J9 x
Today I'm linking up with these fab parties for the first time!!
Raising Homemakers
Sunny Simple Sunday
I'm also entering the Fabulous Joole's Generous Giveaway - please do take a moment to check out her wonderful blog Sew Sweet Violet!
Sunny Simple Sunday
I'm also entering the Fabulous Joole's Generous Giveaway - please do take a moment to check out her wonderful blog Sew Sweet Violet!
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Home made Mobility Aids?
When I was able bodied I gave little to no thought to my mobility. It was something that I took completely for granted. Over the past five years though, I have learned that there are little things that can make a difference. My local Occupation Health department have been incredibly supportive in assessing me at home and getting different devices throughout the house that make tasks that bit easier.
My mum is gradually recovering from her operation and is walking a few steps at a time with the use of a frame. When you walk with a frame all effort and focus is placed into your movement, balance and stability. So carrying anything when you are highly dependant on the frame is impossible. So what if you live on your own or only have people stopping in at different times of the day?
Unless.....
Mum had asked me if I could fashion something for her to put a phone and her glasses in - plus something that had a deep enough pocket to house a bag of frozen peas!! She has to put these on her knee 4 times a day so the pocket can help her carry it to and from the freezer. I opted for oilcloth - various offcuts I had in my stash!!
I'm travelling down to stay with her every Thursday and Friday at the moment until she's strong enough to carry on for longer periods - hence my less frequent blog posting. When I'm down there I can help with a few jobs and be company during her recovery. I've been going down for the last month and it has worked really well but I have to say things at home are beginning to slide a little and I'm feeling more jaded than normal!! Half term is nigh, and I expect that after a short family visit then, we will aim to reduce our visits to a less frequent basis.
But today it's felt good to make something that seems insignificant in the scheme of things - but that aide will actually enable her to be more independant and practically improve this recovery time for her. I'll take a photo of it on the frame to share later.
Small, simple things. They can be the best.
J9 x
My mum is gradually recovering from her operation and is walking a few steps at a time with the use of a frame. When you walk with a frame all effort and focus is placed into your movement, balance and stability. So carrying anything when you are highly dependant on the frame is impossible. So what if you live on your own or only have people stopping in at different times of the day?
Unless.....
Mum had asked me if I could fashion something for her to put a phone and her glasses in - plus something that had a deep enough pocket to house a bag of frozen peas!! She has to put these on her knee 4 times a day so the pocket can help her carry it to and from the freezer. I opted for oilcloth - various offcuts I had in my stash!!
I'm travelling down to stay with her every Thursday and Friday at the moment until she's strong enough to carry on for longer periods - hence my less frequent blog posting. When I'm down there I can help with a few jobs and be company during her recovery. I've been going down for the last month and it has worked really well but I have to say things at home are beginning to slide a little and I'm feeling more jaded than normal!! Half term is nigh, and I expect that after a short family visit then, we will aim to reduce our visits to a less frequent basis.
But today it's felt good to make something that seems insignificant in the scheme of things - but that aide will actually enable her to be more independant and practically improve this recovery time for her. I'll take a photo of it on the frame to share later.
Small, simple things. They can be the best.
J9 x
Sunday, 5 August 2012
Sunday Stars
I'm not really a superstitious character, but hubby passed me the mag section of a paper today and as I flicked through the pages I stumbled across my stars.
It read:
Well, my now husband and I lived in adjacent semi detached houses at University. Needless to say our romance led to marriage, kids, happiness... due to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary later this month.
The former quote I'm choosing to take as a kick up the behind - a much needed push to be a bit more open with my friends and family about this blog and my creative exploits. It's funny, my family tell me to believe in myself often and I dismiss it shyly. Yet Mystic Meg writing it in this weeks stars struck a real chord with me!
How is it that some people exude such confidence and self belief, yet others need much reinforcement and support before gaining even a degree of that self esteem? My confidence took a huge knock from the results of my accident anyway. Now five years on I'm rebuilding my inner self as well as accepting the changes to my physical self. I've accepted the wheelchair and crutches as tools to help me live life and that's what I choose to do. I need to live this life...
Well I'm taking a metaphorical pat on the back from dear Meg and looking onwards and upwards....
I'll take courage and follow my path. My first ta dah will come this week. I've declared it and therefore, it will happen.
J9 x
It read:
"It's prime time to start projects and believe in your creative talents".
With regards to love it said:
"Once you were neighbours, now it gets very romantic".
Well, my now husband and I lived in adjacent semi detached houses at University. Needless to say our romance led to marriage, kids, happiness... due to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary later this month.
The former quote I'm choosing to take as a kick up the behind - a much needed push to be a bit more open with my friends and family about this blog and my creative exploits. It's funny, my family tell me to believe in myself often and I dismiss it shyly. Yet Mystic Meg writing it in this weeks stars struck a real chord with me!
How is it that some people exude such confidence and self belief, yet others need much reinforcement and support before gaining even a degree of that self esteem? My confidence took a huge knock from the results of my accident anyway. Now five years on I'm rebuilding my inner self as well as accepting the changes to my physical self. I've accepted the wheelchair and crutches as tools to help me live life and that's what I choose to do. I need to live this life...
Well I'm taking a metaphorical pat on the back from dear Meg and looking onwards and upwards....
J9 x
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Pre Holiday Prep
Over the past month I've been focusing my efforts on giving our home a tardy 'spring clean'. I'm not naturally a tidy person. I don't mind clutter. But since having my accident and recovering mentally and physically with my new abilities/ capabilities, I have come to realise that a bit more order would make a real difference to the quality of our family life.
As a disabled mum, with a perfectionist personality type, it has been a huge adjustment and challenge to 'relearn' how to approach everyday tasks. I've found some things that have proven invaluable. They're often simple but practical things anyone can put in place meaning a little more organisation can prevent the mayhem before you leave the house with the kids and increase your little ones independence along the way.
These steps have enormous use in our house. The kids simply drag them across the floor and it enables my children to wash hands, get drinks of water, reach snacks independently resulting in less ups and downs for me which would increase my pain levels and means I can put my energy into more quality activities with them.
This post hasn't taken the form I thought it would. I've gone with it though as it helps me to remember what works for us in practice and may help another mum in my situation. I by no means have all the answers and am still finding my way in this 'new world'. The main thing many of us need to be remember is to be kind to ourselves. In the endless struggle to do the best we can for our children we can sometimes overlook our own well being - and what would happen to our children if we crash and burn?! Hmmmm.... worthy of some thought and a great excuse to grab a coffee in a favourite cup and sit down with your favourite mag in the sunshine when you can.
J9 x
As a disabled mum, with a perfectionist personality type, it has been a huge adjustment and challenge to 'relearn' how to approach everyday tasks. I've found some things that have proven invaluable. They're often simple but practical things anyone can put in place meaning a little more organisation can prevent the mayhem before you leave the house with the kids and increase your little ones independence along the way.
- Steps in the kitchen. I gave this plain set from IKEA a quick makeover and they 'live' in our kitchen:
These steps have enormous use in our house. The kids simply drag them across the floor and it enables my children to wash hands, get drinks of water, reach snacks independently resulting in less ups and downs for me which would increase my pain levels and means I can put my energy into more quality activities with them.
- Accessible art & craft materials. My children have been in a constant creative whirl for at least 3 years and when I was immobile completely organising a craft area for them was essential in facilitating this. Drawers with paper, scissors, markers, glue and other such materials are at a height the children can access at will. Apparently, having paper and pens available at whim develops childrens imagination too.
- A Basket in the Car Boot! I try to keep a stock of items in a basket in the boot. It can be a 'go to' supply rather than carrying things in handbags, resulting in less time to get out the door. With a bit of maintenance every now and then your boot basket can enable you to be prepared for any spontaneous away from home (indoor or outdoor) activity with minimal stress of packing, tearing round the house finding 'stuff' and wasting the sunshine before hand!! Items might include a box of snacks, sunscreen, towel, drinks in cartons, wellies, buckets & spades, balls, sun hats, spare clothing, picnic rug etc. I have to pace myself due to pain levels on physical activity so this is a real win for me - very simple but worth putting in place for any busy mum!
- Cooking in batches. It's very important to me as a mother to feed my children healthy home cooked food whenever I can. Sometimes it is just not physically possible for me to do this and I've had to chose quality time with my kids over healthy food. To prevent myself being overly harsh on myself for failing to meet my own standards as a mum, I've found an alternative. Again, it's simple but can make such a difference at the difficult end of the day for me when children are hungry and demanding and my own pain levels are peaking and the last thing I need to is stand over an oven cooking!! So when I do cook, I cook on a larger scale than normal and portion up the remainder and pop in the freezer. We did this as mothers when weaning using ice cube trays - I just do it on a larger scale in containers! Then, when I'm on a high pain day, or when I know I'm going to struggle physically and won't have the energy to cook from scratch, I can pull these out the freezer and all are happy!! Meals like cottage pie, lasagne, spagetti bolognese work especially well.
- Organising toy storage - to help encourage the children to tidy their own toys away. Everything has it's home meaning the house stays relatively tidy and those endless calls of "Muuumm! Where's my ......" and the associated ransacking of the house in the hunt for said toy are minimised. They still happen..... just less frequently.
- Planning our day - this can sometimes be a bit tedious if you're a spontaneous type but I've found it a useful tool to help with the sense of 'control' over tasks within a day. This doesn't have to be too regimental and can be a fully democratic family process but it does enable you to limit screen time (and the associated guilt as a mother) and balance indoor and outdoor play - and rest!!
- Setting expectations - this is very much linked to planning the day. I have to be honest with my children and express whether I'm able to do the park, woods, etc today or whether today is a den building day at home for example. Being honest from the start prevents unrealistic expectations of yourself and from your children. We spend a lot of time at home and can be fairly creative in what we do so it doesn't get boring. As a family we class adventure parks / soft play as a treat rather than an everyday activity - something to be looked forward to or a reward for something.
- Creating a Summer List - full family involvement in coming up with ideas of what anybody might like to do at some point over the summer holidays!! Activities on our list include: having coffee and cake in a cafe, picnics in the park, specific craft ideas, going to the garden centre and camping in the garden. Everyone can put in ideas and it can help you each morning on a wet or dry day to decide what to do - just tick it off the list!! This link goes into this in such better detail - as a planner I love the detail but you can use as much of this approach that works for your family (or not!) How to - Summer Fun Focused Plan!! or a more fun and certainly more pretty idea is here. We did the latter last year and the children have asked to do it again this summer!
This post hasn't taken the form I thought it would. I've gone with it though as it helps me to remember what works for us in practice and may help another mum in my situation. I by no means have all the answers and am still finding my way in this 'new world'. The main thing many of us need to be remember is to be kind to ourselves. In the endless struggle to do the best we can for our children we can sometimes overlook our own well being - and what would happen to our children if we crash and burn?! Hmmmm.... worthy of some thought and a great excuse to grab a coffee in a favourite cup and sit down with your favourite mag in the sunshine when you can.
J9 x
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